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How to be a Bigger Person at work in 3 steps

I found lots of tools for supporting interpersonal relationships, including workplace dynamics, at a mindfulness-based counselling workshop I recently attended, offered by Hakomi Edmonton. I wrote about one in my last blog on different staff needs, values, and motivations.

One of the most useful tools I gained at the workshop is the idea of expansive and contracted selves, or, being our big and little selves. After sharing it with my colleagues Volunteer Alberta, I thought other nonprofit staff may also find it helpful.

How to be the Bigger Person in our work

When it comes to interpersonal relationships, how do you choose to be a bigger person at work? And how can you tell whether you are showing up as a big or little self so that you can opt for being ‘big’?

Here are three important steps:

1. Understand ‘whois talking

planImagine your best self –  the version of yourself that is kind and respectful, brave and honest, committed to your values and ideals, hardworking and optimistic, reflective and mature, fair and willing to give the benefit of the doubt. This is your expansive, or ‘big’ self

We don’t always show up like this.

We all have times when we feel hurt, confused, scared, inexperienced, tested, angry, or frustrated, and the contracted, or ‘little’ side of us bubbles up to the surface. We start to play games, point fingers, build defenses, and assume the worst of others. We act like we did when we were children, except we have the smokescreen of looking and sounding like adults.

We act like this because our ‘little’ self believes we are not going to get our needs met – whatever those needs are – and starts to use the strategies we learned when we were young to beat the system: maybe acting out, maybe making someone else responsible, or maybe apologizing profusely to cover our butts.

Is it a good idea to let a four, eight, or even thirteen-year-old try to navigate professional adult relationships? Children just don’t have the tools, so let’s kindly get them out of the situation.

2. Examine how’ we are relating to others

How do you know if you are expanded or contracted? Both selves have valid needs and a wide range of emotions, but different behaviour. We relate to others from three perspectives: I, you, and we. In each of these perspectives, we have the opportunity to be our ‘big’ or ‘little’ selves.

I/i
You’re thinking about yourself when you are in ‘I’ perspective.

What are my needs, how am I going to communicate them, and how will I get them met?

womanBig I’s know that we have a right to our needs and that our needs are important. Big I’s are straightforward, confident, and respectful.

Little i’s don’t think we are going to get our needs met, and start using sneaky strategies to try to make sure we get what we need. This could look like playing games, lying, or being passive aggressive.

Example:

You are stressed out. Your boss has assigned you too much work and the only way to finish it all is to come in on weekends.

Big I: You tell your boss that you have too much on your plate and that you won’t be able to complete it all. You know you are only paid for a 40-hour week, and you need to fix the problem so that you aren’t working unpaid overtime.

Little i: You don’t believe your boss values your time, or maybe they are so bad at their job that the work keeps filtering down to you. You pretend to lose emails assigning you new work, or play sick to get much-needed time off.

You/you
You’re thinking about the other person when you’re in ‘you’ perspective.

What do they need and how can I help them get it?

2-attrib-wocintechBig You’s know that other people have important needs and that, sometimes, they are even more important than our own needs. Big You’s are helpful and supportive, as well as aware of our own strengths and limits to assisting others.

Little you’s worry that focussing on others will mean our own needs won’t get met. Little you’s help other people only when we think it will help ourselves.

Example:

Your colleague is sick and they were supposed to run a workshop today. You’ve been asked to step in.

Big You: Right now you are able to do the workshop and your colleagues isn’t. Your work isn’t as pressing, so you are able to step up and help them out of a tight spot.

Little you: You believe you’re always shortchanged when other people can’t fulfill their responsibilities. You’ll help this time because it will make you look good in your upcoming evaluation, but your colleague better pay you back or they are getting the cold shoulder.

We/we
You’re thinking about everyone when you are in ‘we’ perspective.

How do we all get what we need? What strategies can we use to take care of all of us?

cooperativeBig We’s value everyone’s best interests and believe there are solutions that can work for everyone, so that you can succeed together. Big We’s are collaborative and flexible.

Little we’s have learned relationships are necessary, but believe one person will always be the winner and want to make sure they don’t lose out. This means taking turns and keeping score, with resentment as soon as something seems unfair.

Example:

Your organization needs funding and doesn’t have a designated grant writer. Someone has to take time away from their regular work to write a grant application.

Big We: This grant would benefit all of your work – you will pick who will write it based on their skills and availability, and all of you can work together to make sure any missed work is handled within the department.

Little we: You can write the grant this time, but that means another colleague will have to do it next time to keep things fair. You make sure to remind your colleague that they have less on their plate this time around as you juggle the application and your regular work.

3. Start taking steps toward being a bigger person

Half the battle is being able to recognize when you are being ‘big’ or ‘little’ with your colleagues, boss, team, clients, volunteers, and stakeholders.

As you start noticing what helps you stay expansive (so that everyone can win), see where your stumbling blocks are. Then check in – how would your best self make sure you get your needs met using all the skills, wisdom, and compassion you have as an adult?

Recognizing these approaches in other people can also help you respond empathetically and model expansive behaviour until the other person is able to meet you there, rather than taking the bait and joining them in a contracted state.

 

Sam Kriviak
Volunteer Alberta

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10fund

Guest Post: Ten things nonprofits want funders to know

This article originally appeared on the Ontario Nonprofit Network (ONN) blog October 17, 2016.


onnONN has heard a lot about what works and what doesn’t when it comes to funding. Through our policy work, and our outreach and engagement of our network and working groups of nonprofit leaders, we’ve heard from organizations of all sizes over the years from a variety of sectors and parts of Ontario. These ten things keep bubbling up.

So, we’re sharing them here to open a discussion about funding: how it flows, how it can be used, how it’s evaluated, and how data and information is shared. Whether it’s from government or non-government funders, what can be done to improve investment in the sector? Here’s what the nonprofit sector wants funders to know:

1. Budget flexibility: Rather than restrictions, help us innovate and invest in the essentials that we need to deliver on our missions.

2. Measuring success: Together, let’s find great ways to measure success. Focusing on overhead ratio is not an adequate way to measure our work or missions.

3. A resilient workforce: Your funding practices determine whether we can offer decent work and avoid losing our best and brightest to other sectors with better salaries, more secure employment, and benefits.

4. Meaningful evaluation: We want you to work with us to develop appropriate evaluation strategies that can help us to do our work better, while also leading to learnings for both of us.

5. Budget size: To foster healthy growth in the sector, let’s find alternatives to funding rules based on current budget size (aka Budget Testing– limiting funding based on an organization’s current budget size.) This can perpetuate existing inequities and hamstring growing nonprofits. How can an organization grow if it’s always pegged as “small”?

6. Applications: Help reduce costs to apply for funding- use a streamlined, fast-tracked application process and letters of intent.

7. Admin burden proportionate to funding: Adopt application processes, reporting requirements, and expected outcomes proportional to the level of funding provided (and vice versa).

8. Share what’s happening: Talk about the other projects or programs you fund. If you give us information and share data, we can build more effective partnerships.

9. Work with other funders: To streamline funding administration, create common granting guidelines, application forms, and reporting processes.

10. Matching funds: Do away with requiring matching funding as a condition of being approved for a grant; many rural, small, and newer organizations will especially benefit, including those serving marginalized populations.

Liz Sutherland
ONN

Header image: WOCinTech

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crop

Why do your staff show up? Staff motivations, needs, and priorities

I recently attended a two-part mindfulness-based counselling workshop: Working with Couples from a Hakomi Perspective, offered by Hakomi Edmonton.

While this may not sound like it would directly connect to work at Volunteer Alberta, I was curious how this mindfulness approach to interpersonal relationships might relate to nonprofit staff management and brought back some insights to share with our staff.

How can staff find connection, security, and freedom at work?

triangleOne of the tools we looked at during the workshop is the Connectedness-Security-Freedom balance. In couples’ counselling, it’s helpful to explore what connectedness, security, and freedom in a relationship look like to each person, and what each person tends to value the most.

This relationship lens can be applied to nonprofit staff.

We all assess how well our jobs meet our needs based on factors like income, interest, passion, benefits, flexibility, location, colleagues, workplace culture, and so on. Some of these things are more important than others, based on who we are and the current demands of our lives.

What do these needs and priorities look like in the workplace?

Connectedness – Feeling connected to our work might include our passion, motivation, or investment in a cause or project. It could also mean strong relationships with our colleagues or clients.

Security – Job security, income, benefits, and opportunities for advancement  all provide security. But there are other subtle ways our jobs offer us security, like friendly and supportive workplace culture, or good reputations in our communities.

Freedom – Having freedom at work might mean pursuing projects that interest us, or having input at decision-making tables. It can also include flexibility, vacation time, and even succession planning to make it less difficult to move on from our jobs when the time comes.

Reminder: staff will relate to the Connectedness-Security-Freedom balance differently

  • Staff will define connectedness, security, and freedom differently
  • Staff will rank the importance and priority of each differently
  • Staff communicate their needs and priorities differently
  • Staff react differently when they aren’t getting what they need at work

What might this look like at your organization?

happy-hipster

A staff member who puts freedom first might jump at the chance to guide a new project or start a social enterprise for your organization. They might also be happy to forego the security of higher pay for more vacation time or flexibility.

A staff member who puts security before connectedness might be okay working on something they aren’t passionate about as long as the job is a full-time, permanent position.

On the other hand, someone who values connectedness over security might speak from their heart about an issue they are passionate about in staff meetings, even if doing so could put their job security at risk.

If the Connectedness-Security-Freedom balance aligns with nonprofit staff management, now what?

The Connectedness-Security-Freedom balance is a powerful tool to begin to get to know what motivates different staff so that you can meet their needs and support their success.

There isn’t a cookie cutter solution for how to motivate your staff to do their best. It typically isn’t possible to recruit or retain every person with the same perks and benefits, so knowing what staff members value is useful when you have limited resources.

Questions you might ask include:

Is a staff member more motivated by taking control of a project, or are they happy to work on what you give them as long as they can count on consistency?

Would they prefer a better benefits package, or the ability to work from home?

2-attrib-wocintechFor team members, it can also be helpful to understand what is important to your colleagues. Knowing where people are coming from and acknowledging differences can go a long way in combatting assumptions, confusion, and frustration.

With this tool, your staffs’ motivations may be becoming more clear to you. What questions would you still like to ask the people you work with?

Think of how you could apply the Connectedness-Security-Freedom balance in year-end staff reviews or in your hiring process. Let us know your thoughts in the comments!

Sam Kriviak
Volunteer Alberta

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student

Guest Post: The New Volunteer

This article originally appeared in FuseSocial‘s September 27, 2016 newsletter.


Organizations need volunteers more then ever, and the good news is; people want to volunteer!

But volunteerism has changed and volunteer expectations have evolved. It’s no longer enough to just put out a generic “call for volunteers” and then treat them all alike when they show up. Today’s volunteers have an expectation to receive something in return for their time, talents and skills they offer.  A study from JoinInUK.org sums up perfectly what volunteers are looking for in their volunteers roles.

  • planG: Personal growth and well-being
  • I:  Increased sense of purpose, such as knowing just how they make a difference
  • V: Voice regarding how volunteers are asked to give their time
  • E: Easy to sign up, to get there, and to get the job done
  • R: Recognition. Being thanked, appreciated, and celebrated
  • S: Social opportunities like making new friends and working in a team

In ten very straight forward steps your organization can work all these expectations into your volunteer programs.

smiling-woman2Volunteers want and expect:

  1. you to be prepared for them
  2. to feel welcome
  3. good training
  4. to do interesting work
  5. to know up front the duration of their shift
  6. to be appreciated
  7. you to clearly communicate with them and often
  8. to know what they are helping is making the community a better place
  9. to be socially connected 
  10. to learn something new

For more information on using volunteers to strengthen your organization please visit www.NGOConnect.NET

FuseSocial

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Binder office

Privacy Protection: 4 easy steps

Young employeeEarlier this year, we shared three ways that being privacy conscious can improve your organization’s reputation. By being privacy conscious you can help strengthen your organization’s reputation, enhance the trust in your staff, and even increase the loyalty of donors, participants, and volunteers.

So what steps can your organization take to improve your privacy practices?

In Alberta, the Personal Information and Protection Act (PIPA) is part of our privacy legislation. PIPA is an outline of best practices for privacy protection, and all organizations can benefit by meeting these standards.

Did you know?

Most nonprofit organizations are only legally required to follow PIPA when collecting, using, or disclosing personal information as part of a commercial activity. For example, operating a day care, emailing your donor list, or selling products, training, or a membership.

Service Alberta has created a workbook specifically for nonprofit organizations to help evaluate and improve privacy protection practices. We have gone through the workbook and highlighted these four best practices for you.


4 Best Practices for Privacy Protection

1. Have a good reason for collecting the information you do.

ID cartoon

What personal information does your organization collect for each program or service that it offers?

Collecting a client’s birthday might be appropriate if your program has a minimum or maximum age requirement, but it would be unnecessary if the client simply wanted to sign up for your newsletter.

Your organization can create a list of the information your organization collects, along with the purpose for collecting each piece. If you find that your organization is collecting more information than it needs, arrange to get rid of the extra information you already have, and stop collecting the information from new participants.

2. Designate a privacy contact person.

Envelope cartoonChoose one person to be a privacy contact person (staff member, volunteer, or board member) to answer questions or requests about the personal information your organization collects.

This person should be familiar with your organization’s privacy policies and procedures, and be readily available to answer any questions.

3. Get consent for collecting, using, and disclosing personal information.

Pen cartoonThere are two types of consent, implied consent and express consent:

Implied consent: Implied consent is acceptable in situations where it is really clear why you are collecting personal information and how you will use it. For example, taking a donor’s credit card information on the payment screen.

Express consent: Most of the time it is a good idea for your organization to provide added clarity for people and provide the opportunity for them to expressly consent to the collection, use, and disclosure of their personal information.

Two examples of express consent statements your organization might use:

1. Your organization is collecting income information for program participants to ensure they meet the low-income requirement:

The income information you have provided will be used to determine your eligibility for the program, and will only be shared within our agency.

□ I consent this information can be used within the organization to verify eligibility.

2. Your organization is collecting medical information for day camp attendees:

My child’s provided medical information will be shared with camp volunteers to assist them in recognizing a medical emergency. I consent to the collection of my child’s personal information for this purpose.

Signature:  ______________

4. Safeguard and protect the information you collect.

Laptop cartoon

The personal information your organization keeps on your clients, donors, members, staff, and volunteers is sensitive. Take care of other people’s information as if it were your own:

  • Lock your filing cabinets and password protect all devices, including laptops, tablets, and flash drives.
  • Limit access to personal information to relevant staff or volunteers.
  • Don’t keep information you don’t need. For example, if you need to verify your volunteer has a driver’s license, make a note that it has been verified rather than keeping a copy of the driver’s license on file.

Remember: Social insurance numbers, credit card information, birthdates, names, and addresses can all be used in identity theft. Medical information, criminal record checks, and income information can also have serious impacts on personal relationships, careers, and housing.

While privacy protection may require you to create new policies, or change your procedures, in the end best practices help your organization to protect those people who are integral to the work you do. After all, nonprofit organizations exist for the people we serve – let’s all do the best job that we can!

Does your organization follow these best practices? Do you have room for improvement? Let us know in the comments!

Sam Kriviak
Volunteer Alberta

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